just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
