I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
