holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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