Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
