they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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