So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
