I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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