Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just want to make out with him forever
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
