Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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