i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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