I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
