And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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