shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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