Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
