Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
