easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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