Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
