a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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