just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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