i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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