Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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