his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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