Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
