her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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