youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
