What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
