I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
