She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
