I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
