He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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