the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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