we're blogging at a bar
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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