i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
