Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
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