Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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