Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
