Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
