Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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