If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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