What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
