he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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