exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
