You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
