their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
