.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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