she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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