Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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