My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
