just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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