And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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