Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
